I Love Her and I Love Him
by Faceless Charmer
Summary: Manga spoilers, don't read summary or story if you don't want things spoiled. Historia ponders her feelings for both Ymir and Eren as she rests in the hay, but it doesn't clear much up. YmirxHistoria and ErenxHistoria. So, mentions of FxF.


So I went and wrote a sorta Eren/Krista/Historia story. In the actual story, it probably won't happen, and that's fine. But I think they make a cute couple. If you do too, and are here to read the story, then hi! Glad to see. If you don't, and are here for some other reason, like to flame me...hi, I guess. Don't go calling me homophobic though, cause you are way barking up the wrong tree there.

 **I love Her and I love Him**

During their years as trainees, Historia hadn't felt particularly close to anyone. Everyone liked her, but that was because she was pretending to be somebody she wasn't. Well, so she thought, anyway. She realized now that it probably wasn't the case, that they'd all like her regardless of how she behaved.

Anyway, everyone had liked her, and she'd liked everyone too, but she wasn't close to any of them.

But then things changed, and Ymir came into her life. She'd been there all along, but suddenly, Historia was noticing her more and more. And the taller girl seemed to be noticing her too, for more than what she showed. She suspected Historia wasn't all she was pretending to be.

Ymir had noticed her as Krista, but she liked to believe (now) that she was staying for the little glimpses of Historia.

It had scared her, at first, but eventually, she saw that letting one person know her wouldn't be so bad. So she stayed at Ymir's side, smiled and laughed, and felt herself happy for the first time that she was close to anyone.

It didn't occur to her until it was too late that she had fallen in love.

Ymir was gone now.

And she might never be coming back.

At first, Historia had determined that she would wait, and had thought her heart would stay unchanged.

And it did. She didn't stop loving Ymir.

She just began…

To love someone else too.

She'd noticed Eren all along, of course. Everyone had. He'd made quite an impression, declaring that he would kill every single titan there was. But the two of them hadn't had much contact, never a moment together, until the day Eren sat in front of her, and said that he liked Historia better than Krista.

Something had stirred in her, the same things that had stirred whenever Ymir said something that proved she knew Historia was hiding her true self.

And then they'd gone through that horrible ordeal with her father. Historia had thought Eren might never really forgive her, for the things she had said and been about to do.

(The image of his face, streaked with tears as he told her to eat him was burned into her memory)

But instead, when it was all over, they had come out stronger than before, and closer than ever.

Now, it was Eren that she stood beside, and smiled and laughed with (and sometimes at, because as Historia, she was allowed to do that), as they did chores around the house together. She could see Mikasa eyeing them, usually from afar, but sometimes coming closer and separating them.

And it made her pause, because she realized what Mikasa was seeing when she looked at them, and pulled them apart.

She saw two people who were falling in love.

At least it was that way for Historia. These feelings of happiness, and companionship, and wanting to be with and protect, were the same feelings she'd felt toward Ymir. That she still felt toward Ymir.

She noticed the similarities. Both Ymir and Eren were brave, and reckless, and stupid. (Stupid Ymir for abandoning them and going off alone. Stupid Eren for taking on the fate of the world by himself.) They even looked kind of alike. Tall, darker skinned, dark hair.

Maybe she had a type.

Did this make her a terrible person? That she loved them both?

If Ymir came back, what would she do?

Should she even consider these questions? After all, Eren might not have even felt the same way. Maybe she was imagining it when Eren looked at her, and she thought she saw a glimpse of something there.

After all, he had Mikasa. Who was brave, and strong, and beautiful. Well, Historia could be those things too, but Mikasa was those things all the time.

So why would he choose her?

"Hey."

Historia looked up from her heavy musings, and standing there, blocking her from the sun, summoned by her thoughts was Eren, looking down at the blonde queen who was laying in the hay.

"You can't complain every time I take a break then take a nap in the hay." he said, crossing his arms over his chest and lifting an eyebrow. She lifted one back, and sat up.

"I would hardly call in napping."

"Daydreaming, same thing."

"Hmm. Maybe." she held out a hand, and he reached for it. His skin was warm, probably from his titan powers, and it felt nice on her chilled hands. He pulled her to her feet, and, caught up in her thoughts of his skin, she stumbled, falling onto his chest.

"Are you alright?" he asked, looking down as he caught her.

"Just fine." she said, hoping she looked that way. "Now get back to work, lazy bones."

He huffed and turned around, starting off. "You really are a hypocrite."

She watched him go. Where would her life lead her? And who would be standing there with her at the end?

(She pictured them both. Ymir. Eren. And she didn't know which one she liked best)

Historia was startled out of her thoughts when she noticed that Eren had stopped walking, and was looking over his shoulder, waiting for her to catch up to him.

"I'm coming." she said, and began her journey to his side.

* * *

 _I hope you liked it! If so, let me know. See you around._


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